Ebullient is an oblivion now.....reflections

Kind of bored sitting at home right now, done with the book and looking for another set to finish,i guess writing blog is something fun to do, i guess, Do you ever had the feeling that life's really start at 30, well i did and not seeing it in any pretty pictures yet, i'm not the person whom believes in those superstitious things but after a series of  misfortune i'm in makes u wanna think twice,

The start of the year of thought to be one of the glorious year yet it turns to be quite miserable inside, end up with knee surgery that prevents you from running and change to another department (which the boss i hated so much) , aiya i'm practically filled with negative energy now, trying so hard to make a smile, pushing this mind so hard till the sinaps snaps...to move on, to take the baby steps, its so hard kan, this will be an inspiration for me to rise up again.

May be ini adalah pembalasan Tuhan terhadap hambanya sebagai pembalasan, pasrah terhadap apa yang berlaku tidak dapat mengubah kenyataan, di mana sengsara hidup seseorang itu tidak akan berubah sehingga manusia itu keluar dari lubuk dengan usahanya, this series of misfortune could be due to the crimes i did in the past- for running away from problems, making good of myself, fostering broken ties, may be its not enough to mend the calamity, i wonder how do people went through tough times such as those at Haiti and Palestine, what am i to compare to those,

Ebullient will be an oblivion for now, it is destined in our faith to be what we are, some may be lucky some may just had to be miserable, top scientist never had sounded mind albeit their creations revolutionize established civilization,

Though it is hard, but these series of incidents makes want to think twice of every big step in your life..could this be the last...

I will not bow to this thinking anymore, i had worked so hard to reach this far, should i just wasted it away, this misfortunes could be the only thing i need for some reflections of the past, the wrongdoings that you might had thought it settled. Should this get worse i would not give up on hope and keep on trying till i reached my goal, my misfortunes will be the thing in the past, crying as i am now would not turn back time and makes things better. Praying so hard that to This fragile soul gasping for an air of ebullient which now seems lost is strong.........being a runner , knowing that the wall will hit , it just a matter of mind over the body...shall the soul of mine be as good as the body.....in time....

Rise of the ashes....at the moment let's enjoy this ,period

Setiap musibah ada hikmahnya.....